Wes had one too many…

Someone has finally built up an appetite!

Daddy and some anonymous grandparents {ahem, Mimi & Pop} thought this was a better picture!

Oh, this will not be the last time we mess with Wes, but I’m glad we got to document the first time!

Rub a Dub Dub!

WesLove wanted to look sharp for his pediatrician’s appointment on Thursday, so mommy and daddy beautified him for the event!

Temperature duck so we don't burn his biscuits!

The arsenal! I'm assuming this will get easier over time.

They say never wake a sleeping baby, but WesLove is the easiest baby {so far}.

I'm chilly Mommy! {Still no cries! Just grunts}

I feel great Mommy!

The bath couldn’t have gone any better! However, Mommy had to do a little skin-to-skin because WesLove was very chilly. The pediatrician suggested to us to use a space heater in the bathroom prior to bathing him so that the room gets nice a toasty for him. Guess that’s what we’ll do next time!

The last 72 hours: Photos and commentary

These last 72 hours have been a whirlwind to say the least. John and I knew that our lives would change drastically and we maintained a realistic ideal of what to expect. However, until you experience something so life changing, you never truly know. This is why my blog has not been updated as much as I’d like. Reality set in that I really, REALLY needed sleep and this is my first time online via computer since my labor and delivery post written the day Wes was born. {As a side note, I do apologize for the horrific grammar, but that’s what you get when you had a baby 22 hours earlier, LOL} When I look at my computer and then look at Wes, I always opt to be with my son. Right now Daddy is snuggling with his baby, and they look so peaceful together. So, mommy guilt aside, I feel good about taking the time to update you all with photos and commentary about these last 72 hours…

Monday was a crazy day between having visitors and someone in to check on Wes, me {TMI, trust me!}, and to check on how I was doing breast feeding. The lactation consultants at my hospital were amazing and entirely understood that with Wes being underweight I needed to supplement with formula, but they wanted me to try and breast feed him every 30 minutes. What!? That was impossible due to my anxious family wanting to see Wes. Besides, I’m not in a third world country where it’s possible to breast feed all day long. It’s a hard balance trying to meet the needs of your kid, the LLL, and your family under these circumstances, so there was a little give on all sides, except for Wes of course. Through all the controlled chaos, I was able to sneak some time with my bug.

My first bonding experience with Wes.

It’s hard for me to admit this, but I didn’t bond with Wes from the first moment he was born, I am just so glad that John did. It had nothing to do with Down syndrome, let me be clear about that. I just think that it was really hard for me to fathom that this was my child through all the pain and exhaustion I was recovering from. {I was also a bit upset that they didn’t give him to me right after he was born, but they needed to make sure that he was okay.} However, after a 2 hour nap late Monday afternoon, I was in love. He’s my world now.

Late Monday night, my amazing in-laws came to visit their first grandchild and brought along John’s younger brother, Mark. Mark absolutely loved spending time with his nephew and I don’t think he wanted to let him go. He’s going to be an awesome uncle!

The next day I was moved to the recovery wing of the maternity ward. Is there a better name for “maternity ward”? It’s sounds so institutional, ha! Maybe labor and delivery something or other? I don’t know – whatever! In any event, my new room was very tiny compared to the Taj Mahal L&D room I had. I didn’t know that I would be moving, but it really wasn’t a problem except that I was the only one around to load up a cart with my stuff. What was hysterical, and may have peeved more sensitive women than myself, is that I had to move the massive cart while the nurse pushed Wes and the pump. The kicker is the second nurse that joined in and offered up help… to the other nurse. She pushed the breast pump while I trucked along with the big a** cart. It was a sight! Oh, I just laughed out loud, too ridiculous to believe!

Later on my mom came to spend time with me and Wes Love {Wessie Poo’s second nickname!}. I was a bit lonely compared to the hub bub of Monday, but it was good to have that time to relax. I honestly enjoyed doing nothing. Besides, the edima in my legs and a** were so bad that I couldn’t walk to far.

Grammy and her 4th grandson

After work John came by to spend some QT with us, and my sister and her husband came to visit as well. The day Wes was born, John’s mom gave us an amazing book to read to Wes at night. I’ve seen this book before, but it never made an impact on me like it did on Tuesday night when we read it to Wes before John went home.

This book is so special and if you haven’t read it, you should – immediately.

“On the night you were born,
the moon shone with such wonder
that the stars peeked in
to see you
and the night wind whispered,
‘Life will never be the same.’

Because there had never been
anyone like you…
ever in the world.”

When the wind whispered the baby’s name, we would say, “Wes, Wes, Wes…”

Crying yet?

Wednesday morning I learned that we were discharged to leave earlier than expected. I was so happy to go home, and even happier to know that Wes was healthy and his jaundice levels were stable and his heart murmur was gone. I couldn’t imagine better news than that.

Daddy was awesome and brought clothes that fit. Mommy packed ones that were way too big!

Mom picked me up around 10 and we were off! I couldn’t wait to bring Wes Love home!

The blanket was given to John when he was born.

The first day home was chaotic, and Thursday was worse, but we’re getting into a rhythm today. It’s nothing but love, regardless of the lack of sleep, fighting to get him to eat enough or latch correctly to breast feed. He’s our little trooper and it will be nothing but uphill from here. This is the story of the upside of Wes.

Well, it’s time for this post to come to an end. Wes is just too loveable to leave for long…

Sleep deprivation: photo

Though I may have had only  15 hrs of sleep since Sunday, it’s hard to be too upset when you have a sweet face looking back at you!

I sound way more chipper than I am. I’m miserably exhausted and John’s not feeling any better either. So happy my sister is helping us out later

Vroom, vroom!

On our way home!

My snug: Picture

It’s been a long day between jaundice monitoring to circumcision,  but this little guy took it like a champ! The only tears shed were due to armpit temperature checks.  What a trooper!

Labor and Delivery

Well, I am still in the hospital tonight and it’s my first night alone since John needs to return to work tomorrow. I was scared at first to be on my own with a newborn, but I figure it’s baptism by fire or nothing, right?

Since I’ve had such a successful night with Wes so far, and little guy is sleeping happily with a full belly, I decided to hop on the blog and give everyone a run down on the goings on from the last two days.

Around 3am Sunday morning I began to get contractions that were a little stronger, followed by other clear signs that active labor was eminent. I began to time the contractions which were 10 minutes apart with an average length of 45-60 seconds. In the morning, I called my doctor and she said to call back once the contractions became more frequent and painful. Though I wasn’t sure if I was going to go into the hospital that night, I did call my in-laws who live in North Carolina and my two sets of parents who lives in New York. I wanted to make sure that they had the heads up just in case things began to roll over the next night or so.

Throughout the day, the labor pains began to intensify and were about 4-6 minutes apart. I definitely experienced back pain that I considered severe. However, severe back pain wouldn’t come til later and I would have done anything to experience the pain that I did throughout the day. I called the doctor around 3pm and she told me to head on into the hospital. Yep, let’s just say I was in a panic and sweating profusely! John was preparing in his own way by cleaning the house. I think packing would have been a better idea, but he’s a saint so I can’t complain!

Last photo before we went to the hospital

We got to the hospital around 4:30 and I immediately went into triage where they checked on Wes’s vitals and mine. At the time, I was 80% effaced and only 2cm dilated. While there, my labor continued to intensify over the 2 hours there, but I was sent home due to the fact that I was not progressing fast enough. I was terrified by this point because we live 45 minutes from our hospital (on a good day) and I was in enormous amounts of pain. I decided to go to my sister’s house, which is half the distance from the hospital than my home. Fortunately, my mom suggested that we just rent two hotel rooms near the hospital to avoid potential traffic issues in the morning as well as avoid being in the torrential rain were were experiencing that day.

By the time my mom saw me in the hotel room, I was hunched over in agonizing pain. This pain only increased ten-fold while in the hotel room. Regardless of the amount of back rubs she and my husband gave me, nothing could soothe the feeling of intense stabbing pain which I could only compare to a sudden stabbing feeling to the spine followed by radiating hot contraction from the spine to around the belly. Like, take your-breath-away-contraction-so-bad-that-I-can’t-even-grab-my-husbands-hand-for-relief-because-I’m-so-weak pain. This, I would find out, was only a 5 out of 10 on the pain scale that I would later experience.

I ended up begging my husband to call the hospital, and we were only in the hotel room for an hour by this time. It was 9pm.

We drove to the hospital which was only 1 mile away. In that time, I had 3 intense contractions and I ran up to the second floor between contractions. By the time I got to the maternity ward, I froze and sobbed in pain. They instantly admitted me and checked to see how dilated I was. I was only 3cm. I can’t pretend that I was a brave girl, I wasn’t. I instantly freaked out and said, “I can’t go home, please don’t make me go home!” Yes, it was THAT bad.

Fortunately, they let me stay. However, it would be 2 more agonizing hours before I received my epidural. By the time the epidural came, I was in what I would refer to as “crazy labor” for 6 hours; all contractions no more than 2 minutes apart. My contractions went from one severe wave that came and went and I didn’t feel residual pain between contractions to what I would best describe as a good surfing wave. It just keeps coming; up, down, up, down, then a mini wave that radiates until the process started all over again.

Once the anesthesiologist came, I had absolutely NO fear of the epidural. In a matter of 2 minutes, I went from delirious pain, sobbing and not talking to laughing, joking and asking the anesthesiologist for his hand in marriage. No kidding, that’s how drastically my disposition changed.

However, my amazing new ride did not last long. Though I was slowly dilating, my contractions were so strong that Wes’s heart rate dipped often and drastically. It was a very scary time. I was put on oxygen and nurses were in and out of my room commenting on how frightening these signs were.

Labor makes you ugly.

At 2 am, I was just lounging off to what I would refer to as a mild slumber, and John was entirely zonked out, when we were bombarded with severely panicked nurses and the on call doctor. I, of course, panicked and began to shake uncontrollable.

7 nurse, 1 doctor all stormed the room at once. They turned me over on all fours to try to get Wes to respond. I was hooked up to machines out the you know what, literally, and there was a thingy something or another attached to Wes’s head. Yea, he was still in me folks. A giant light was lowered from the ceiling which I could only describe as looking like an alien encounter and John was tossed what looked like a hazmat suit. Over the rumble of voices, I found out that we were headed to the OR. I was given some nasty sour apple tasting shot to help neutralize my stomach acid so I wouldn’t vomit… during my emergency C-section. Ok, sounds melodramatic to get upset over a C-section, but it was frightening to hear that your son was starting to become unresponsive and that it was a life or death situation. Hmm… that’s pretty scary.

Right before they wheeled me out, Dr. S went, “Stop! Look, his heart is back to normal, he’s good!” Talk about anxiety overload followed by a serious amount of adrenaline pumping through all of us. After the chaos dissipated, Dr. S calmly apologized for startling us, but it didn’t matter to me. Whatever you need to do to save my kid, I don’t care. She checked me again, and by this time I was 5 cm. She told me that if Wes continued to show signs of distress, we will need to still do the C-section, and I entirely understood, though I was still shaking in a panicked state.

By 2:45, things weren’t getting any better. My contractions, though painless to me, were physically noticeable and I could hear Wes’s heart rate drop rapidly. The nurses and doctor came in again and Dr. S checked me and said, “Adrienne, are you ready to have this baby?” Of course I was, thinking that we were headed to the OR. Then, she started talking to me about having a vaginal birth and the room was set up in less than 2 minutes. What!? I was so confused, but apparently in the 45 minutes or so from the major scare, I dilated the rest of the way.

Dr. S said, “Adrienne, you can see your baby’s head. Don’t you feel it?” Honestly, I was feeling so flipping good from the epidural, I didn’t (Thank GOD!). While this was going on, John decided to start taking pictures. Dr. S said, “Dad, put down your camera because you are going to be involved here. Come and see your baby.” Ha! I never witnessed John take orders from anyone, but Dr. S has the way of telling you want to do and you listening.

"Put that camera down, Dad!"

After going over the routine of how to deliver quick, I began to push. On my third push, Dr. S said, “If you don’t get your baby out on the next push, I will have to use a suction.” Well, that was a fun challenge to me, so I did. I may have ruptured blood vessels in my face, but I did it! Let me tell you, delivery is the easiest part of labor. It took 3-4 minutes, tops.

My boy came out screaming like a champ! I was so proud. I was even more proud by how well John responded to watching the entire delivery. John was so concerned that he would pass out that he refused to watch or cut the cord, but do you know what? He was involved more than I could ever imagine. He was so excited that I became #2 in his life after Wes was whisked away to be checked out. That was the coolest thing ever.

So, all in all, labor and delivery was 24 hours exactly… my labor began 3am Sunday morning and my darling son was born 3am on the dot Monday morning. It was fast, it was painful, and it was worth it!

After the pain of labor I wasn’t able to imagine birthing another baby, but just seeing how awesome Wes is makes me want more. I will never be okay with labor, though. It’s bad. Like, real bad. And I don’t care what anyone tells you, or if you think you’re strong enough, you’re not. Labor sucks and it is the most intense and unyielding feeling you will ever feel without dying afterwards. Yes, it IS that bad.

Welcome home, Wes Henry

April 23, 2012 at 3:00 a.m.
5lbs. 11oz. 18.5″ tall

Mini update:

Strong suck, but a little lazy on me.  Good with bottle,  but not allowing that to be the norm!

Pooped within the day and daddy had a field day with his first diaper change!

Saw all of his grandparents,  Aunt Liv and hopefully Uncle Mark!

Was a trooper through his blood work and really enjoyed basking under the heater.

Stood up using his own strength during his bath! Wow!

Beautiful heart with a slight murmur.  No concern, but they’re following up.

Daddy is an amazing father!  I became #2 once Wes was born.  I don’t mind at all.

Wes shares a birthday with Grady’s Mommy!  What’s the chance!? Happy birthday, Erin & Wes!

And yes, Wes has Down syndrome,  but we don’t notice a thing. He is just pure love!

I may not post often these next few days because I will be loving this boy to pieces!  We appreciate all your sweet words along with your love for Wes!

XOXO

98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed

Looks like Wes will be here soon; whether it be just a day or two, but heavens no, not by mid-June.

That’s about as Dr. Seuss as I can get!

Anywho, contractions are more regular and it looks as if this little Cornish hen will be here soon. All the signs are happening, and you ladies out there know what I’m talking about! No need for details, right?!

I’ve got makeup on for the first time in days {weeks?} and I actually did my hurr for once. I can’t imagine going in tonight, but I like to get all purdied up just in case. Girlfriend’s got a new camera and I MUST be photo ready dah’ling!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

XOXO

Adrienne

Reveling in a rare artform…handwriting

I went to the mailbox today and discovered one of my most favorite things to receive in the mail; a handwritten note from John’s paternal grandmother, Colleen, AKA Connie, AKA Grandma W.

I envy her ability to hand write such meaningful notes that are free of error and sometimes trail on to the back of the card she has written it on. It is without fail that she will start on the right side, run out of room and continue to write on the left. Then, if she still has something to include, she moves onto the back of the card. I am waiting for the day that she writes on the front of the card.

I love it.

She is such an amazing writer and I wish I had the ability to write such meaningful words with clarity, and in cursive no less, without the aid of the backspace button and spell check squiggly lines. You would not believe how many times I had to correct my spelling and grammar in this one post!

Her words are so sweet, that I had to share.

Dearest Adrienne and John,

I am sure you both are now becoming very anxious and possibly a bit weary during the waiting time. Never heard of any who “didn’t come”.

Think of you both so often and since Adrienne’s back was not comfortable in any position. It does seem eternal at times I’m sure and I do pray for you both to have a good delivery in what ever the way the doctors feel is best. Somehow it does become one phase you do forget quickly when that tiny little creation is in your arms and your hearts.

Somehow love seems to just increase beyond words as you start a new journey with a little one. Celebrate this new life into our family to the fullest. I’m a firm believer in faith and life ahead will be more of better days than hard ones.

Babies are really tough little critters and {…} cry, sleep, smile, and love unconditionally. The different phases of growing go by so quickly and we can hardly wait to hug all three of you. Each day seems longer and yet it is so closer to that birthday I remember!

Do know we’ll be with you both in heart, soul and in love in the “soon to be” special day.

Our Love Always,
Grandma W and Grandpop too